Somewhere between doctrine and devotion, Love got lost in translation — and what was meant to heal started to hurt.
I read this quote on Facebook the other day and just couldn’t ignore the damage done by the religious system:
“We cannot experience God’s unconditional love unless the relationship is shattered.”
If you take that sentence at face value, it implies that love requires destruction before it can be real.
That’s not revelation — that’s trauma theology.
It teaches people to associate God’s presence with pain, His approval with punishment and His intimacy with instability.
It’s spiritual gaslighting — conditioning us to believe the breaking is the blessing and that wounds are proof of worthiness.
This single sentence reveals how far religion will stretch to defend its own dysfunction.
It sounds spiritual, even poetic — until you actually stop and listen.
Because what it really says is: Love can’t reach you until it hurts you.
And that’s not holy — that’s harmful.
The Theology of Trauma
For generations, people have been taught that brokenness is the price of belonging.
That pain is proof that God is near.
That collapse somehow cleanses.
So we endure it — and call it faith.
We mistake abuse for refinement, rejection for sanctification, shame for discipline.
It’s the kind of thinking that keeps people in pews but far from peace.
Because a god who requires you to shatter before you’re loved
isn’t Love at all — it’s a projection of our pain, dressed in divine language.
Reframing the Relationship
This has been my motto for some time now:
When I read about God, I replace the word “God” with the word “Love.”
Try it with that same quote:
“We cannot experience Love’s unconditional love unless the relationship is shattered.”
Read it again.
It collapses under its own contradiction.
Because Love doesn’t need to break you to prove Himself.
Love doesn’t demand destruction to reveal devotion.
Love heals. Love restores. Love remains.
When we say God is Love, we don’t just mean He has loving qualities —
we mean Love is the very nature of God; Love IS God.
So anything that contradicts Love’s character — shame, control, fear, manipulation —
cannot truthfully represent Him.
Awakening, Not Shattering
What religion calls shattering, grace calls awakening.
The goal was never to make you less — it was to reveal that you were never apart in the first place.
You don’t find Love through collapse; you awaken to Love who has never left you.
Final Word
Maybe the only thing that ever needed to break was the illusion —
the idea that Love withholds Himself until you’ve suffered enough.
The truth?
Love doesn’t test you; He transforms you.
Love doesn’t demand collapse; He restores connection.
And when you finally see that, the system loses its power,
but your soul gains its peace.
The real awakening isn’t found in your breaking —
it’s in realizing that Love never left.
Grace > Religion. Always.
Love ya,
Wag
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